19 ways to become Dutch

Always wondered what it would be like to live in the Netherlands as a local? Or are your hopes and dreams already shattered because you just didn’t fit in? Today I’m giving you some (tongue in cheek) advice on how to become a proper Dutchie. 

 

1. Jump into the freezing sea

On new year’s day the Dutch gather on the many beaches the country has to jump into the freezing North Sea. The ‘Nieuwjaarsduik’, as the Dutchies call it, is an ongoing tradition and every year around 200 different dives are organized throughout the country. You haven’t had a proper nieuwjaarsduik without an orange Unox hat as a souvenir.

 

2. Eat herring with onions, upside down

You’ll see them on every market: fish stalls that sell herring, best served with chopped onions. You’ll also notice the strange way this fish is eaten.

 

3. Bike everywhere

Amsterdam is often called the bicycle capital of the world, but don’t underestimate the rest of the country! The Dutch love to ride their bicycles everywhere. Shopping, taking the kids to school or going to work; a bicycle is all you will ever need. But don’t get attached! There’s a Dutch saying in Amsterdam that says that every bike has at least been stolen twice.

 

4. Sit outside on the first spring day

‘Don’t care that it’s the first week of March, last week it snowed and now it’s 12 degrees, I’m sitting outside!’ Is what every Dutchmen seems to think on the first – not even official – day of spring. When the weather is great, outside is the place to be, enjoying, another typically Dutch thing, a beer.

 

5. Actively hate the National Railways (NS)

They can’t do anything right in our eyes. If you ever ask a Dutchmen about the train system, most likely all you will hear are complaints.

 

6. Squish your food

A Dutch dinner means eating potatoes, meat and veggies, accompanied with gravy or some kind of sauce. To mix the potatoes with the gravy, the Dutch tend to ‘squish’ their potatoes with their fork – in Dutch this is called prakken – to break and flatten it. If you ever see people doing this around the world, there’s  a 99% chance they are Dutch.  

7. Act normal

The Dutch phrase ‘Doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg.’ (meaning Act normal because that’s crazy enough), is not just a saying, it’s a lifestyle. The Dutch love modesty, so acting over the top – or as we call fake – is not an option. Bragging is simply considered to be rude.    

8. Make appointments

Having a social life is high on the list of life standards. However, the Dutch like to plan their social life. Dropping by unexpected – although it does happen – is considered to be slightly less thoughtful than let’s say making an appointment. Social events are mostly scheduled and coming on time is highly appreciated.


 

9. ‘Bakfiets’ is a way of life

You’ll see people with ‘carrier bikes’ riding around everywhere, most of the time accompanied by their kids (who sit in the front). Dutchies use them to bring their kids to school, to do groceries or to scare the heck out of bus drivers by parking half of it on the street. Although more and more people are starting to use it, upper class families are known to drive them. That’s how it’s considered to be a different kind of lifestyle.

 

10. Be honest

If there’s something stuck between your teeth, a Dutchmen never fails to tell you straight away. This might come across as bluntness, but it’s actually meant in the nicest way. We just don’t want you to walk around like a fool, so we honestly tell you what’s up.

 

11. Orange is the only color

During soccer matches or Kings Day, we turn into an orange mass. Streets are decorated, people are dressed up and the nation unites.

 photo credit

12. Don’t care for monarchy unless it’s Kings Day

Some of the Dutch love the royal family, some think it costs a lot of money. On Kings Day, the birthday of the king, everyone goes out on the streets to party and enjoys their day. You can find little flea markets everywhere and… yes, a lot of orange.

 

13. The only way to grow up is by eating Pindakaas

Almost every kid grows up with pindakaas, the Dutch version of peanut butter. Although this nutty paste is known all over the world, the Dutch version definitely tastes different from everything else out there. Any Dutchmen will tell you that.

 

14. Eat out of the wall

At train stations or in shopping streets you will find the typical Dutch snack foods that you can eat out of the wall. Frikadel (a spiced sausage of minced… well, crap), kroket (a crispy croquette filled with ragout) and kaassoufflee (cheese soufflé) are some of the items you have to try when you stumble on one of them.

 

15. ‘Gezellig bakkie doen’

‘Gezellig’ is a word that doesn’t have a proper English translation, but it comes closest to something fun, but low profile, you can do together, like drinking coffee (bakkie). A common Dutch phrase is ‘Bakkie doen?’, mostly answered by: ‘Gezellig!’. When you get together with friends, going to the movies or having dinner, this is considered to be ‘gezellig’.

 

16. Mobile shelter

I’ve already told you we like to ride our bicycles wherever, but I forgot to mention we also do it whenever. Rain or shine, the Dutch get on their bike. With the necessary accessories, like an umbrella, we turn into a mobile shelter. It must be a strange sight.

 

17. Water management

Although the Netherlands has excellent water management, the country occasionally does flood. Luckily we do seem to cope with it. I told you we like to bike everywhere.

 

18. Love thy neighbor

Because Holland is such a small country, most of the Dutch live close together. This makes that things like buying a new fence for the garden becomes a neighborhood related issue that should be carefully discussed with close neighbors. Sometimes people share a fence, which means that they all have to agree on the looks (and price) of the material. Fencing, big trees and too many leafs are the main cause for neighborhood fights.

 

19. Be the cheese

The Dutch are often called cheese heads, by themselves and the Flemish. It’s no wonder how we got this nickname if you look at the amount of cheese consumed in the Netherlands and I don’t even want to talk about cheese production. If you want to experience the Netherlands, eat the cheese. Be the cheese.

 

 

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13 Comments

  • Reply
    petra
    April 23, 2015 at 11:49

    om melig van te worden…;-)

    ik weet er nog een: hollandse krenterigheid! maar hoe vertaal je dat naar het engels?

    • Reply
      The Brave Dame
      April 23, 2015 at 12:13

      Ahja! We are cheap! I also forgot that we bring large supplies of food on a holiday. There’s no holiday without Dutch Pindakaas 😉

  • Reply
    Juara
    April 23, 2015 at 11:57

    So funny!!! 😀 Lekker prakken!

  • Reply
    Jaklien
    April 24, 2015 at 09:32

    haha grappig. Ben denk ik niet helemaal Hollands. Heb nog nooit de nieuwjaarsduik gedaan en lust geen haring. 😉

  • Reply
    Corinne
    April 25, 2015 at 09:39

    Rose, I have lived in the Netherlands, and I wish I’d read this post prior to that. I would say one of the things I think everyone moving there should get is a lesson on how to maintain (open, close, decorate) your front window! Loved this post!

    • Reply
      The Brave Dame
      April 27, 2015 at 11:18

      That’s a really good one, Corinne! The front window is indeed a ‘thing’. Would you know how to explain it properly? (I can’t even get my neighbors to like me because of my closed curtains 😉 )

  • Reply
    bart
    August 29, 2015 at 15:27

    what about smoking dope till u drop

    • Reply
      The Brave Dame
      August 30, 2015 at 13:03

      Haha! That too, although I usually only hear tourists about that…

      • Reply
        Rachel
        August 30, 2015 at 14:56

        Yes, I agree, it’s not ”common” for the Dutch, even if it’s allowed,
        there’s a big difference 🙂

  • Reply
    Rachel
    August 30, 2015 at 00:03

    HI There,
    As an expat have experience in the Netherlands too, I LOVE helping others to get to know NEW cultures and their habits.
    Great POST!

    I thought of an additional cultural habit that I find special:
    The Dutch eat ”on the go and on the bike”.
    They simply take a sandwich or ice cream ON the bike….they don’t care if they don’t sit down and take time for a meal.
    I think it’s so typical and never seen it in other countries as in the Netherlands.

    I think it’s special and sometimes fun to see.

    🙂

    Rachel
    Expat to Inpat.com

    • Reply
      The Brave Dame
      August 30, 2015 at 13:07

      Thanks for your comment, Rachel. It’s true that a lot of people eat on the go. It’s a busy country 😉 I never do that though and I’m always surprised when I see people eating on the train or the subway. When I was young we did used to eat ice cream on the bike after a visit to the beach or after shopping. it’s only now that I see how strange that actually is, haha!

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